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The Resentment Dumpers

Dump your Resentment, not your Relationship!

The “X-Factor” to Healthy Relationships

Every week there seems to be one celebrity gossip story that stands out as the biggie. This week it was the announcement that Simon Cowell is expecting a baby. Big news because Simon’s gone on record saying he’d never have a kid several times.  The kicker of this story is that he’s expecting this child with his (I assume) former best friend’s wife! Not EX-wife, but wife.  Oye!!

This kind of story rocks all social norms and of course, that creates excellent news and the “train wreck” effect for us celeb gossip hounds. We just can’t look away!   Of course this intrigued me and I read some of the stories to try to get a grip on what was going on.  As always, it got me thinking about relationships and what REALLY took place here.

The media reported that “Lauren and Andrew have been unhappy in their marriage for some time, and their divorce has been in the works for a while,”  Hmmm!!!  Some sources speculated, “As their marriage deteriorated, she and Simon became close.”  This really got me thinking about why a marriage “deteriorates” to the point of no return. Why two people who vow to stay together for “better or worse” suddenly find themselves, not just strangers, but what sometimes feels like enemies.  The Traditional Relationship Logic that we’ve always learned insinuates that if there is conflict that means it’s me against you, and one of us has to “win”.  Warfare mentality.

It’s a totally different world when we are able to embrace the fact that the REAL enemy of the relationship is NOT our partner, but instead, it is the resentment that is coming between us. Relationships aren’t destroyed by cataclysmic arguments. They are eroded by the little things that happen over time. And if we let those “little things” slip by without addressing the resentment that they can cause, we often find ourselves – as the Silvermans did- with a “deteriorating” relationship.

With The Melfox Method, we learn how to maintain our relationship the same way we maintain all other important things that we want to “last” and don’t see as easily replaceable. Imagine investing in a car, expecting it to run and transport you long-term, but never taking the time, or making the effort to change the oil or replace the tires!!! Eventually it will either stop running,  OR require so many repairs that it would end up being most cost-effective to just replace it.

That’s likely what happened to this couple whose marriage “deteriorated” to the point of no return.  It happens every day.  And the impacts can be devastating.  The Melfox Method is the “X Factor” that relationships need to stay healthy and free of resentment!

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