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The Resentment Dumpers

Dump your Resentment, not your Relationship!

The Secret to a Real Fairytale Relationship

Debunking “Happily Ever After”

Everywhere we turn, from fairy tales to mainstream media to the ever-present Disney movies, there is a pervasive theme that people fall in love and “live happily ever after”.  This doesn’t require a whole lot of effort and in fact, just seems to magically happen usually amid the chirping of birds and a few musical numbers.  We love this.  It makes us warm and tingly, especially us female types.  And of course, this continues on in the form of our fascination and seemingly endless thirst for information about “fairytale” couples like Prince William and Kate Middleton, Princess Diana and Prince Charles back in the day, and even Hollywood’s “royal” couples like Brangelina, Beckham and Posh, and Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.  We love the fairy tale and we crave proof that is exists.

There’s only one problem!  It doesn’t!!  There is a built-in assumption that once one finds love, the earth moves, fireworks ensue,  marriage occurs, and you can settle down into bliss and never have to worry about it again.  Whew!  So glad THAT’S over!  I found my one true love and now….Love will be prevail!  Love will conquer all!  All you need is love!!

This is, by far, the most dangerous mindset to enter into a relationship with, and in fact, I will boldly say that it’s almost always the reason that SO many relationships fail and/or become toxic.  When a relationship is new and you’re still in the infatuation stage, you spend a lot of time trying to please each other and overlooking anything that isn’t seen through the rose-colored glasses.  As time goes by, expectations change and suddenly those cute little things become annoying and conflict starts to creep in.  You may start arguing, but not about the real issues that are bothering you.  That is often because you don’t understand exactly what it is or what is happening.  And that is what The Resentment Dumpers and The Melfox Method set out to de-mystify and help you restore your relationship.

We simply don’t know what to do with resentment – the very thing that destroys relationships.  Love is awesome and it matters greatly, but love alone will never get rid of resentment.  You use the love you feel for your partner as a driver and motivator to work on cleansing your relationship of resentment.

There is no shame in this. It’s okay to recognize that “Happily Ever After” isn’t a given or a built-in part of an intimate relationship.  It takes effort, and continuous “weeding” of the relationship garden.  Heck, one of our favorite “fairy tale” couples caused a bit of controversy when they admitted (on the Oscars no less!) that (gasp!) they actually have to WORK at making their marriage stay healthy.  I thought this was a really great step toward debunking the myth of maintenance-free relationships.  A lot of people took notice when Ben Affleck stood up in front of 40.3 million people (Oscar in hand!) and said to his wife,  I want to thank you for working on our marriage for 10 Christmases. It’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and there’s no one I’d rather work with.”

I loved this because even with all of the water-cooler talk, it screamed one very important thing to me:  NO couple is immune from this and those who accept that they need to maintain their relationships like they maintain other valuable things in their lives, are the ones who have a fighting chance at the REAL fairytale ending.  A healthy, strong, open, resentment-free relationship where conflicts are resolved – not swept under the rug by Cinderella while waiting for her (ahem! choke!) Prince Charming!

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