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The Resentment Dumpers

Dump your Resentment, not your Relationship!

The Ability to Resolve Conflict

You Ain’t Buyin’ a Chevy at Match.com

KickingTires“My next car’s gonna have air-conditioning!”

That’s what I was thinking years ago when I was tootin’ along in my ’92 Mazda 323.  We always keep a sub-conscious list of what we’re lacking in our current vehicle when we start daydreaming about the next one.  Unfortunately, all too often, we do the same thing when it comes to choosing a potential partner or mate.

The Five Love Language “Options”

Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book “The Five Love Languages”  specifies that each one of us has a dominant draw to one particular “language”.

Dr. Chapman does an excellent job of distinguishing the various ways of expressing our relationship needs. However, unlike Dr. Chapman, I believe that the dominant language is most likely to be the one that was the most neglected in a previous relationship. That will naturally become a major focal point (or continuing the car analogy as an “option” ) in the next relationship.

But we have to realize that unlike the car buying process, we can not determine that our next relationship has all the “options” like a car would.   Options are a pretty finite list, whereas a relationship will have infinite possibilities. So many people on Match.com list the things that they DON’T want as “options”. Not only does that violate the Law of Attraction, but the list is so infinite that naming just a few will not get you closer to finding the kind of mate you’re seeking.

The number one “option” that you should REQUIRE in a relationship is that you both have the ability to resolve conflict. That should be the “must-have” option in your Match.com vehicle!

With this option, there’s no need to make sure that all of the additional, infinite  “options” are present. With this option, you will have the confidence and ability to address any and all conflicts are they arise. And they WILL arise. That is a guarantee.

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