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The Resentment Dumpers

Dump your Resentment, not your Relationship!

Outcome of Relationship Challenges

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johannson’s got a new movie coming out. Of course this means she’s speaking out in the media to promote the flick. That, combined with her newly-announced engagement (she was married to hottie Ryan Reynolds from 2008-2011) has brought up relationship discussion in some of the interviews.

In the new movie (Don Jon)  the Avengers star portrays a feisty, gum-chewing Jersey girl who decides she wants to change her new boyfriend’s (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) personality.

In an interview with People magazine, Scarlett said “I am guilty of this, and so are many people – you just want your partner to fit into the box you constructed for them. It’s easier that way,” she says. “It’s kind of like, ‘Why can’t you be more like me?’ I think that’s what we all want.”   She also told People that “The challenges of a relationship are what help you grow into an evolved person.”

Interesting stuff to ponder. How exactly do the challenges of a relationship help us grow?? Do we really wish for our partner to be just like us, or do we really just want to UNDERSTAND our partner and what makes them tick, in order to be as close to them as possible?

Actually both of those points can be addressed by comprehending Part Five of The Melfox Method: Outcome.  Understanding our partner is the key to a resentment-free relationship. If we use the tools of Interaction, not just in times of conflict, but whenever we have the opportunity to know our partner (and ourselves!) better, this is one of the greatest benefits The Melfox Method has to offer.

MelfoxMethodOutcome070212

 

In Part Five of The Melfox Method, Outcome, we outline the reasons to learn The Melfox Method.  If the other chapters were preparations for, and the process of childbirth, this would be the child.  It examines the possible results of Interaction and lists the benefits of effective Interaction beyond solely restoring your relationship.

Since this type of conversation may be new to you, talk about it afterwards.  Things like improvements, suggestions, interesting observations, and lessons learned.

Interaction results will vary depending on the issues addressed and the role each partner played in its development.  An issue may be discussed and resolved, yet there may be lingering emotional feelings such as grief and lamentation over decisions made in the past.  Self-Interaction, with possible help from your partner, dissolves this “resentment with yourself” through acceptance.  Everyone is doing the best they can, all the time, with their present level of awareness.

And this Scarlett, I believe is how the “challenges” of a relationship help you grow into an evolved person.  It’s actually quite spectacular!

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